Rethinking Interaction: The Art of Being Present With Your Child
In the hustle and bustle of modern parenting, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of constant questioning and instruction. We ask our children about their likes and dislikes, probe them with questions like "Do you like dinosaurs🦖? Tell me about them. Which one is your favorite? What do they eat? What sounds do they make?" and so on. While our intentions are to engage and educate, we might not realize that each question demands our children to process information, thus adding to their cognitive load. Inspired by principles taught by Dr. Gregory Hanley and his team at FTF Behavioral Consulting, this post explores the importance of minimizing unnecessary demands to foster a more relaxed and engaging environment for our children, especially those with autism.
The Weight of Constant Questioning 🤔💭
Imagine having to answer a barrage of questions during a leisure activity. It can be exhausting, right? This is how our children might feel when we overload them with questions or instructions, even during play. Every interaction becomes a demand to process information, respond appropriately, and even perform. It's essential to recognize that sometimes, the best way to support our child's development is to simply be present with them without the need for constant verbal engagement.
Embracing the Chill: Tips for Parents 😎 👨👩👧👦
Sit at Their Level: Physically lowering yourself to your child's height is a powerful way to make them feel seen and heard. It’s a non-verbal way of telling them that you’re there with them, in their world, ready to engage on their terms.
Play Alongside Them: Instead of directing play, try participating in whatever your child is doing. If they’re building with blocks 🧱, build your own structure next to them. This parallel play allows your child to lead the interaction and invites you into their play without placing demands on them.
Limit Questions and Instructions: Challenge yourself to reduce the number of questions you ask during play. Instead of asking them to narrate or explain, make observational statements like, "That’s a tall tower!🏗️" This shifts the interaction from a demand to a shared observation, reducing pressure on your child.
Let Them Lead: Children love to feel in control, and giving them the opportunity to direct play can be enlightening. See what happens when you let your child tell you where to put a toy 🚗 or what role to play. Their response, often a smile or laugh 😊, will indicate enjoyment and engagement. When you notice this positive feedback, do more of it! This approach not only respects their autonomy but also encourages them to communicate and engage on their own terms.
Be Present: Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply be with your child. You don’t always have to play or talk. Just sitting near them, observing, and being available can provide them with a sense of security and acceptance. It’s about quality time, not necessarily active engagement.
By adopting these practices, parents can create a nurturing environment where children feel valued and understood. This approach, derived from Dr. Hanley's principles, emphasizes the importance of reducing unnecessary demands to foster more meaningful and stress-free interactions between parents and their children.
A Shift in Perspective 🔍
Incorporating these strategies into your daily routine might feel challenging, especially in a society that often values constant engagement and productivity. However, the rewards—seeing your child more happy, relaxed, and engaged —are immeasurable. It’s about shifting our perspective from doing to being, from instructing to sharing, and from questioning to observing.
In conclusion, by minimizing unnecessary demands and allowing our children to lead the way in play, we open up new avenues for connection and understanding. Let’s embrace the art of being present and watch our relationships with our children transform beautifully and unexpectedly. Remember, sometimes the most profound interactions come from the simplest moments spent together, no questions asked 🌟.
